Who Would Jesus Assassinate?

Assassin for Christ says Thou Shalt Kill

Good God, it's come to this. This is the face of religion in early 21st Century America. Pat Robertson says that the United States of America should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. This is not me extrapolating or reading things into offhanded, out-of-context statements. This self-professed man of God, a man who's 700 Club is watched by millions of people who think it will teach them something about Jesus, is using his forum to call for the murder of the democratically elected President of a foreign nation. In a just world this lunatic wouldn't even have an audience on cable access, much less basically run his own nationwide cable channel.

Here's some of what he actually said. On National Television. To an audience of millions that sees him as a wise spiritual leader. "You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination [Editor's Note: That's Gerald Ford's executive order that made assassination of foreign leaders by U.S. agents illegal], but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war ... and I don't think any oil shipments will stop." This is not some masked Taliban fighter on a grainy videotape who's calling for the violent death of his enemies. This is one of the most influential leaders of the religious right. And why does Pat Robertson think the democratically elected President of a foreign nation should be murdered? Why, because among other things this President of a 98% Christian country is going to make that country a "launching pad" for "Muslim extremists."

The very fact that there are now going to be arguments about this disgusts me. There is no nuance to this stupidity--what this supposedly religion man, this very influential man, is calling for is immoral, illegal, and just plain barbaric. What Robertson should do--what would IMHO be the Christian thing to do--would be to go back on television tonight in front of his millions of viewers and say "Gosh, I don't blame you if you're wondering what I was smoking last night. I actually called for the intentional violation of perhaps the most basic of all the Commandments. I urged our government to violate it's own laws and act in the manner of some despotic totalitarian regime. And all I could come up with was some preposterous 'ends justify the means' argument about assassination being CHEAPER THAN WAR. What an ass I made of myself last night. Any person with two brain cells to rub together could see that I was behaving like a raving lunatic. I humbly ask your forgiveness for my stupidity."

This little speech could happen. And, in the immortal words of Wayne Campbell, monkeys might fly out of my butt. Despite his genial 'country preacher' demeanor, Robertson is one of those right-wing media personas for whom admitting that you might be wrong, just like being reflective or thoughtful, is a sign of feminine weakness. Surely Christ the Screaming Avenger would never want him to show any sign of weakness--it only encourages the enemy. Besides, I suspect that most of his audience doesn't really want spiritual guidance, they want someone in a suit on TV to tell them that their own opinions are correct, and that God will smite both the foreign hordes and smarty-pants libruls and show everyone that they were right all along, so HA! No, at worst if things get too hot over this then Robertson will probably go with the non-apology apology, something like "I'm sorry you're so overly sensitive."

This is why I and so many people like me have a problem with organized religion, especially the fundamentalist flavor practiced by so many in this country. People like Robertson call themselves Christian, and sure, they can quote chapter and verse with the obsessiveness of a Star Trek fan learning to speak Klingon, but the actual tenants of their religion are really just minor details. They will find a way to make the religion justify their own beliefs, no matter what the offense to common sense.

I want to think of something clever, or even hopeful, to say about this, but I just can't. Robertson and his ilk are running this country. There will be no price to pay for spewing this filth. Most people don't care, and most of those who do will only love him and their twisted vision of Christ the Screaming Avenger that much more.