Intelligent Blue Jean Design

One of the nice things about my job is that we can dress casually on Fridays. This morning I was putting on my favorite pair of blue jeans when something dawned on me; no matter how many pairs of jeans I buy--and I just bought two last week--I always have one and only one pair that fits properly. How this happens is a mystery, but as I think back over the years it's as regular and inevitable as the setting of the sun or the changing of the seasons. I usually own several pairs at any given time, but inevitably all but one is too tight, or the length is too short and exposes too much sock when I sit down, or the seams fray and holes open up, or whatever.

I cannot explain this strange phenomenon. No matter how well a pair of jeans seems to fit at Shopko--I mean, uh, Macy's--they will inevitably not fit or be unwearable for some reason within 48 hours, unless I am no longer in possession of that one decent-fitting pair of jeans (I do eventually get rid of them), in which case the new pair can move into the 'just right' niche. Since I cannot explain this phenomenon, I will fall back on Intelligent Design-style reasoning and will write off this and anything else that seems too complicated for me to understand with "God did it" (for legal purposes He is referred to not as 'God' but as 'The Designer,' but I think we all know who we're talking about, wink wink). Somehow in His wisdom He always provides that one perfect pair.

Now I don't wish to impugn His generosity. I'm grateful for my single useful pair of jeans. But because I have only one pair--and I'm not proud of this--I will sometimes wear that pair several days on end before washing them. After a few days, this can start to feel a little oogy. So perhaps, if it's not asking too much, could the Design of Creation include maybe two pairs of jeans that fit me at the same time? I'd really appreciate that.