Evil Wears a Puberty Moustache
"War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere."
Mr. Lucas, however disappointing Episodes I and II may have been (and that would be "very" disappointing), and despite the fact that you can't write two lines of believable dialogue to save your own life, you hit the nail on the head with that one. Indeed, Evil is everywhere.
Here's an example: Yesterday I was driving back from lunch on 4th street. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a car passing me on the left. It was some kind of beat-up, vintage 80's economy car. In the front passenger seat sat a tubby dude with a puberty moustache and a ratty-looking jean jacket. He was staring straight at me with a completely neutral look on his face, and his right arm was extended out the window so that he could give me the finger. I did not know who this person was and I had not cut off the car he was ridding in or done anything else that could be reasonably assumed to be bothering him. Yet he sat there, flat-faced, giving me the international signal for 'fuck you' for a good five seconds or so as we traveled down 4th Street. I looked at him and laughed (it actually was kind of funny, this grown man giving me a gesture that kind of loses it's impact once you're over age 12 or so) and went on my way.
Why this happened is something of a mystery. I've considered a number of alternatives, most notably the notion that the guy may have been retarded--his blank look and slovenly appearance would not be inconsistent with this theory. But I think the most likely explanation is simply that the guy was Evil. Pure, malevolent, capital "E" Evil. And perhaps he was angry that I obviously know how to tie a Windsor knot and my career options weren't limited to working the counter at Texaco. But mostly I think it was just that he was Evil.
Anyway, this evening I'm getting drunk for science. Really. One of our local law enforcement agencies is coming to pick me up this evening in order to ply me with alcohol so that the newbie cops can be trained on operating DUI equipment and conducting field sobriety tests. It's going to be a fun evening. Updates will follow as events warrant.