Evil Wears a Puberty Moustache
I rented George Lucas' Revenge of the Sith the other night, and something in the opening crawl caught my eye:
"War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere."
Mr. Lucas, however disappointing Episodes I and II may have been (and that would be "very" disappointing), and despite the fact that you can't write two lines of believable dialogue to save your own life, you hit the nail on the head with that one. Indeed, Evil is everywhere.
Here's an example: Yesterday I was driving back from lunch on 4th street. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a car passing me on the left. It was some kind of beat-up, vintage 80's economy car. In the front passenger seat sat a tubby dude with a puberty moustache and a ratty-looking jean jacket. He was staring straight at me with a completely neutral look on his face, and his right arm was extended out the window so that he could give me the finger. I did not know who this person was and I had not cut off the car he was ridding in or done anything else that could be reasonably assumed to be bothering him. Yet he sat there, flat-faced, giving me the international signal for 'fuck you' for a good five seconds or so as we traveled down 4th Street. I looked at him and laughed (it actually was kind of funny, this grown man giving me a gesture that kind of loses it's impact once you're over age 12 or so) and went on my way.
Why this happened is something of a mystery. I've considered a number of alternatives, most notably the notion that the guy may have been retarded--his blank look and slovenly appearance would not be inconsistent with this theory. But I think the most likely explanation is simply that the guy was Evil. Pure, malevolent, capital "E" Evil. And perhaps he was angry that I obviously know how to tie a Windsor knot and my career options weren't limited to working the counter at Texaco. But mostly I think it was just that he was Evil.
Anyway, this evening I'm getting drunk for science. Really. One of our local law enforcement agencies is coming to pick me up this evening in order to ply me with alcohol so that the newbie cops can be trained on operating DUI equipment and conducting field sobriety tests. It's going to be a fun evening. Updates will follow as events warrant.
"War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere."
Mr. Lucas, however disappointing Episodes I and II may have been (and that would be "very" disappointing), and despite the fact that you can't write two lines of believable dialogue to save your own life, you hit the nail on the head with that one. Indeed, Evil is everywhere.
Here's an example: Yesterday I was driving back from lunch on 4th street. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a car passing me on the left. It was some kind of beat-up, vintage 80's economy car. In the front passenger seat sat a tubby dude with a puberty moustache and a ratty-looking jean jacket. He was staring straight at me with a completely neutral look on his face, and his right arm was extended out the window so that he could give me the finger. I did not know who this person was and I had not cut off the car he was ridding in or done anything else that could be reasonably assumed to be bothering him. Yet he sat there, flat-faced, giving me the international signal for 'fuck you' for a good five seconds or so as we traveled down 4th Street. I looked at him and laughed (it actually was kind of funny, this grown man giving me a gesture that kind of loses it's impact once you're over age 12 or so) and went on my way.
Why this happened is something of a mystery. I've considered a number of alternatives, most notably the notion that the guy may have been retarded--his blank look and slovenly appearance would not be inconsistent with this theory. But I think the most likely explanation is simply that the guy was Evil. Pure, malevolent, capital "E" Evil. And perhaps he was angry that I obviously know how to tie a Windsor knot and my career options weren't limited to working the counter at Texaco. But mostly I think it was just that he was Evil.
Anyway, this evening I'm getting drunk for science. Really. One of our local law enforcement agencies is coming to pick me up this evening in order to ply me with alcohol so that the newbie cops can be trained on operating DUI equipment and conducting field sobriety tests. It's going to be a fun evening. Updates will follow as events warrant.
posted by Yukon Sully | 12:23 PM
6 Comments:
I don't think that guy was evil. I think he was just immature. He was giving you the finger to shock you and also because he knew he could get away with it. He knew by the looks of you that there was no way you were going to ram into his car or chase him down the street and do something to get even. Once your sister Katy and I were driving up 15th street in heavy late afternoon traffic. A black, ratty-looking car pulls up next to us on the left and just seems to stay even with us. My window was open and I sort of had a feeling that something was going to happen, but we couldn't change lanes. All of a sudden a WARM balloon comes sailing from that car into the front seat of my car and lands in Katy's lap. Luckily it did not burst. I grabbed it and would have thrown it right back at them (because I knew it was urine) but they immediately swerved off to the left. It was a car full of teenage boys and neither Katy nor I gave them the reaction they were hoping for. We just kept on driving and marvelled at what nincompoops they were.
I hope you have pictures of your "science project"...also, the idea of a unrine balloon makes my stomach turn
did you have a bumper sticker he didn't like or something? or maybe he was someone you prosecuted, or a family member of someone you prosecuted.
Maybe he was someone I prosecuted, but that would still make hime Evil since I only prosecute Evil people.
was this testing for "Officer Naughty"?!
I don't think the world will be seeing Officer Naughty again any time soon.
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