Nailed!

How fantastic was Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondents Dinner the other day? The only place I've been able to find the whole bit online is at Salon.com's Video Dog, but believe me it's worth sitting through their ads to see it. You can catch the first part of Stephen's bit here, and the concluding videotaped application for White House Press Secretary here (the application video starts to drag a bit and wanders into some very weird places, but if you stick around to the end be sure to notice frosty acknowledgement from the President and the First Lady towards Colbert as they beat a very quick exit).

Of course, most mainstream media reports focused on the preceding bit performed by the President as he stood next to a really dead-on doppleganger of himself (impersonator Steve Bridges) who offered an alternate version of what the President was "really" thinking as Bush addressed the crowd. Amusing, yes, but it was mostly toothless humor, poking fun at how the President don't always talk too good and other relatively "safe" subjects. Clearly, this sort of low-intensity, good-natured ribbing is what the MSM is much more comfortable with.

Not Colbert, though. I don't know how he managed to sneak under the radar, but boy did he. Perhaps someone at the White House actually thought his Bill O'Reilly-like right-wing shouting-head character from his TV show was for real. But however he did it, he took full advantage of the opening and got in a bunch of real stinging barbs. Never breaking character, Colbert took to the podium in full-on Bush Cultist mode and never let up. It was satire in it's purest form, not so much "ha ha" funny, but rather scathing and witty truth delivered in the guise of humor and perfectly designed to make powerful people very uncomfortable. Colbert drew a lot of knowing smirks from the crowd but generally not the uproarious laughter of, say, the more "acceptable" Steve Bridges' Bush imitation. No, Colbert's shots hit far too close to home both for the politicians and the press who were present, and watching the nervous laughter of most of those gathered was perhaps the most rewarding spectacle of all. Here are some of Colbert's gems:

"I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq."

"I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior."

"Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man (Bush) has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias."

"I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound -- with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world."

"As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side. But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good -- over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew."

About Rev. Jessie Jackson: "You can ask him anything, but he's going to say what he wants, at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is."

Chiding the press corps: "Then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!"

As I mentioned, even though this dinner is well known to have general air of a Friar's Club roast, it was obvious from the muted reactions of the crowd to Colbert's performance that no one was expecting this level of uncomfortable truth to be spoken, especially in the actual vicinity of the President himself, a man who is well known to like to stay safely shielded behind yes-men and adoring pre-screened crowds of supporters. But in the end, the people who should have been most embarrassed by this unexpected metaphorical de-pantsing was not the Bush Administration, who's follies are well known to anyone paying attention (a number now up to about 68% of us according to the most recent information). No, the ones who should really be embarrassed are the press corps--they should be embarrassed that a comedian pretending to be Bill O'Reilly actually did a much better job of taking this government to task for it's obvious blunders and stupidities than they themselves have been able to do.

UPDATE: A new website has appeared that has the whole video. The site is apparently a Thank You to Steven Colbert.

A Year In The Life

This is a noteworthy anniversary: Today The Adventures of Yukon Sully is one year old. David beat me to it the other day, but just for nostalgia and giggles here's my first posting from April 28, 2005 in it's entirety:

Okay, I give up. I'll become a blogger. I'll join the blogosphere. I'll be a blogger-riffic, blog-tacular blog boy. I'll do it now, before it becomes a legal requirement. I'll move back into my parent's basement, write in a hyper-casual style and turn snarkiness into an art form. I'll obsess about the minutiae of my daily existence in a manner that implies people should actually care about it. I'll harbor the deep, abiding conviction that publishing half-ass political commentary or pseudo-sophisticated movie reviews makes me smarter than everyone else. Worst of all, I'll harbor the deep, abiding conviction that someone, somewhere is actually reading what I write.

Welcome to the Adventures of Yukon Sully.

Oh, the memories.

Who Says We're Trashy?

I caught this picture while walking back to work from lunch yesterday. It's the outside of the Club Cal-Neva, downtown Reno's classiest casino:

Sometimes it's hard to understand how Reno can possibly have such a sleazy reputation.

Still Kickin'

Wow, it seems like forever since I've put up a posting, even though I guess it's only been about three days. Things are getting busier and busier and they're not likely to slow at least through the weekend.

First of all, my mom is in town from Alabama, my dad will be following tonight and Melissa's parents are getting here tomorrow from St. Louis. This will be the first time they've all met, which is nerve-wracking enough. Then Saturday we're all heading over the hill to view next year's wedding location. No actual date yet (although we're pretty sure it will be June 2007), but that may change soon.

On top of this, my job has been turned upside-down by the opening of Reno's new Mills B. Lane Justice Center and all the problems attendant to it. I usually make it a point not to talk about work in this forum in an attempt to maintain at least some level of anonymity and protect certain confidences, but I think it's safe to say that the opening of the new courthouse has caused some big changes for me this week. The result is that I haven't really had much spare time to sit in front of a computer and shoot pithy little tirades out into the blog-o-sphere. Of course, a cynical person might point out that I did have time to watch an hour of Lost last night even though it was just a clip show. But hey, you have to have priorities, right?

The bottom line is that a more regular pattern of posting should resume next week, once all the family members have headed home and things at work settle in just a bit. So we'll be back to the pithy stuff soon enough.

Spring Rain

The first day of the season back at the farm was wet and short. I drove the hour and a half out to Silver Springs yesterday morning only to find that it was raining too hard to do needed soil preparation work. All I could do was rope off a few of the patches in back that will grow carrots, peas and peppers this year, get Ray and Virginia caught up on everything that's been going on in my life these past few months, and then saddle up for the long ride back to Reno.

We've had so much rain this Spring, it shouldn't be long before the desert east of Reno turns green as a golf course, just like it did after last year's wet Spring. All this does not bode so well for the farm, however; although rainfall is usually helpful, this current batch of storms has moved the schedule back considerably. It's going to be harder this summer for me to find free time for the farm, but the later the work gets pushed back the more intense it's going to be when the honest-to-god warm weather really arrives.

The Rocks of Kilimanjaro?

I picked up a copy of Men's Journal the other day. If you haven't ever seen it, it's a glossy magazine that specializes in yuppie-flavored macho bluster in the form of hyper-consumerism, exercise tips and travel fantasies for the lycra-and-PowerBar set. So naturally I pick it up once in a while and enjoy reading it, even if it does have a surprising propensity for those annoying "Hot Places To Live" lists and vaguely homoerotic cover photos:

So I picked up the May issue the other day, and was disheartened to find an article on so-called "Endangered Places", i.e. legendary travel destinations that should be seen sooner rather than later because forces are now at work that will soon diminish their experience. These range from Hemingway's hilltop villa in Cuba (crumbling after years of tropical storms and plain ol' neglect) to the Maldives (an island chain in the Indian Ocean which may be mostly underwater by 2100). But the one that really bugged me was the entry relating to how warming temperatures are altering Mount Kilimanjaro.

Here's what the article had to say about the future of Africa's and one of the world's most iconic mountains:

Kili's rep as a "doable" summit is in doubt. Last January a rockslide above the Arrow Glacier base camp killed three Americans who were en route to the roof of Africa. The slide's cause remains unknown, but the 19,341-foot peak's fast-melting glacial cap may have had something to do with it. Mount Kilimanjaro is losing its signature white crown. Of the peak's original glaciers, first mapped in 1912, only 20 percent remain, and no new snow is accumulating up top. Global warming is the primary suspect behind the major meltdown, but deforestation at the base of the mountain may also be a factor. In short, the loss of Hemingway's "The Snows of Kilimanjaro" icon is far from metaphorical.

This has special significance to me because, strange as it may sound, my mom and I have talked for years about climbing Mount Kilimanjaro someday. I'll be honest, I don't know if it will ever happen; I've researched the project, and we're talking about $5,000 a piece just to get started. But there's something nice and encouraging about just knowing it's out there, if we could just somehow find a way to get to it. Now we may even lose that consolation.

Climate change and other environmental concerns have troubling implications for the ultimate future of humanity and billions of other living things with which we share this planet, but one of the effects that I find most personally heartbreaking is the fact that every day the world becomes a slightly less-interesting place. Kilimanjaro will still be there ten or a hundred years from now, but it won't be the same mountain Hemingway wrote about. The loss to the world won't be monetary, but it will be real all the same.

Bound To Happen

Derrek Lee is out for up to three months. Why doesn't this sort of thing happen to Albert Pujols?

420

I had one of those "man, I must be getting old" moments the other day, and it was especially appropriate since today is April 20, or 420 to all you stoners and aging hipsters (c'mon, just accept it) out there.

I was leaving Melissa's apartment complex yesterday. As I came down the stairs and started walking across the parking lot to where Grond was parked, I passed by a gaggle of college-age kids standing around and packed into the car nearest the curb. There must have been about eight or nine of them, all age 20-ish, some dressed in a half-hearted goth style, tightly knotted around a car meant to carry maybe five people.

Every single one of them eyed me very suspiciously as I approached. At first I wasn't sure why; as far as I could tell I didn't know any of them (although I'm pretty sure a couple of them are Melissa's neighbors) and so far as I could tell nothing about me appeared threatening. Then as I walked close by them, I realized the cause of their concern--although I never got closer then maybe 10 feet on the way to my car, the smell of burning cannabis washed over me, as potent as I've ever smelled it.

And that's when it hit me: They're looking at me with fear and paranoia because I'm THE MAN. Ten years ago no one would have glanced in my direction in this situation, but yesterday it was clear I was perceived as nothing but an old guy who might be a narc. And you want to know the worst part? It's perfectly appropriate. I don't even know if people say "narc" anymore.

Scotty, We Hardly Knew Ye

The much anticipated staff shakeup continues in the White House. Scott McClellan is gone and Karl Rove's role is shifting in some vaguely-defined way. I'm sorry to see Scotty go; he was so bad, it was always entertaining. The deer-in-the-headlights look, the petulance, the flop sweat--all of it priceless. He was like a bad high school debater, always angrily refusing to give an inch even when caught in an obvious lie or contradiction. Ever the dynamic Decider-In-Chief, the President has already named his new press secretary.

Skunked Again

Another year has come and gone, and once again I have failed to win a Pulitzer. I mean, I know those things are totally rigged and everything, but still I can't help but feel a little bit rejected. Don't get me wrong, it's not as bad as having People Magazine constantly thumbing it's nose at me by annually denying me the title of Sexiest Man Alive, but still, it stings a bit.

Future Assemblyman Looking For Input

David Bobzien is looking for ideas on Reno's economic future. I know this is kind of dry stuff (not nearly as entertaining as, say, a video of a rampaging Easter Bunny), but if you live in Northern Nevada it's vitally important.

Click here to read David's latest piece. Spurred by the the news that Apple Computers move to incorporate an asset management company in Nevada, David wants to get a discussion going. It's easy to tick off the number of tech-centric and other well-known companies that now have a presence in Reno thanks to Nevada's business-friendly regulatory scheme (Microsoft, Intuit, Amazon and now Apple), but as Bobzien cites a local economic development official as stating, all we're really doing so far is picking off the low-hanging fruit. Microsoft may run it's software licensing out of Reno, but everyone knows that the real work and innovation of the company goes on in Redmond, Washington. Locating software licensing oversight in Nevada brings us a handful of good jobs, but it's only a small step in the right direction.

I don't have any brilliant answers as to how we spur the economic diversification that we so desperately need, but I do know that we cannot have a secure, thriving middle class and a culturally vibrant community unless we escape the 'one industry town' mentality. Whenever I talk to anyone I work with or know in town about things that I consider positive, anything from attracting 21st century industries to landing a Triple-A baseball team, the reaction is always the same; they look at me with a patient, patronizing look that most of us save for the mentally challenged and say "This is Reno. That's not going to work here. Why would they come here when they could go to a REAL city? Just be happy that we have a bowling stadium." This attitude is the first thing that's got to change.

If you have any ideas, please talk to David. I know he wants to hear from you.

Snowiest Easter In Years

Despite this being mid-April, snow has fallen all day this Easter Sunday as the latest of a parade of storms lumbers over the mountains. People in Reno are starting to get a sort of crazy look in their eyes as winter just hangs on and on. Daylight now lasts very long into the evening and all of the flowering trees around town have blossomed, but the storms just keep coming and the snow just keeps falling. The forcast calls for one more day of snow tomorrow, and then a warmup that will supposedly bring us sunny skies and 70 degrees by Wednesday. Welcome to Northern Nevada.

That's One Bad Bunny

I've always liked Easter. Maybe it's because it falls in Springtime, or maybe it's the fact that like a lot of holidays Easter is obviously a pagan festival dressed up as a Christian holiday. I mean really, eggs, flowers, rabbits--who are we kidding? Even the word "Easter" is indirectly derived from Eostre, who is believed to have been an Anglo-Saxon fertility goddess.

But I guess I really shouldn't say things like that. It might piss off the Easter Bunny, and that's not a good idea. If you don't believe me, just click here to check out a video my friend Tiffany sent me. I don't know if there's a War on Easter a la Fox News' War On Christmas, but if there is, that bunny is going to kick some serious ass.

Happy Easter.

Whitewater

Walking home from work yesterday I got this picture on my phone at Wingfield Park, just across the street:

A sure sign that warm weather has returned to Reno is the crowding of the whitewater drops in the Truckee River Whitewater Park. There is a link in my links section that used to allow you to watch the city-sponsored webcam that was fixed on this particular drop, but now for some reason when you click on that link you're taken to a live shot of the under-construction Palladio. Personally I don't think watching a live shot of a hulking, empty building being constructed is more interesting than watching people do tricks in a kayak park, but I don't get to make these decisions.

"Red's" Wal

The venerable Reno institution the Little Waldorf Saloon (known by anyone who has lived in Reno longer than five minutes as "the Little Wal" or just "the Wal") has been sold to new owners. I'm really, really hoping this isn't yet another case of someone attempting to fix something that ain't broke. The new owners, who also own Red's 395 Grill down in Carson City, are trying to calm a potentially hostile public by telling them that no one is going to take their beloved Wal away. But some of their quotes aren't making me too comfortable. From the RGJ story:

The company has already started renovating the property with a new wood-log facade and improvements to the bar's interior that includes hanging more of the historic photos and memorabilia that already decorate the walls.

I don't know about this. A wood-log fascade? Sounds too precious by half. It's not like they're converting an old IHOP or something, this is the Wal, Reno's legendary college bar. Everyone who went to the University of Nevada has a story about the Wal.

So already I've got my doubts, but then I read this:

The bar and restaurant will focus on a lunch crowd from surrounding businesses and the university, a mix of college students and an older crowd during happy hour, and college students past 9 p.m., Schloss (Director of Operations for new owners SES Nevada LLC) said.

Sounds frighteningly like they're going to turn it into an Applebee's. And the new name, "Red's Little Waldorf Saloon", doesn't inspire me with confidence either (although everyone's just going to continue calling it "the Wal", so I guess it doesn't really matter).

The Wal has changed onwers before and yet has survived in one form or another for eighty years, so I'll wait to reserve judgment until I see how extensive the changes are. I'm sure things will be fine in the end, but the new owners better watch their step. No one likes it when someone messes with an institution.

Extreme Makeover

BIG hat-tip to Myrna the Mynx (how do you find time for 50 posts a day, Mynx?) for bringing to our attention Extreme Makeover: Downtown Edition, a website keeping track of all downtown Reno redevelopment projects, as well as a few area biggies outside the downtown area like the Sparks Marina and Grand Sierra (i.e. the Reno Hilton, or as Sugafree9 likes to call it, the MGM). I'm not sure how long this site has been around or how I managed to miss it up until now, but I'm glad I've caught on to it. Whomever designed this excellent site, he's apparently remaining anonymous except to reveal the fact that like me he lives downtown, and he's obviously pretty excited about what's currently taking place there. If you want to get caught up on all the redevelopment projects going on around town, this is without question the place to go.

In cruising the site, one thing I'm thrilled to discover is that something is finally going to be done this summer with downtown Reno's greatest eyesore (and that's saying a lot), the decrepit Kings Inn, which has been vacant and rotting for twenty years. Yes, you heard right, twenty years!!!! The plan is apparently to turn this...

into this....

It can't happen a moment too soon as far as I'm concerned, although I guess all the rats will have to find new places to live. But this sort of conversion is emblematic of what's going on all over downtown right now. It's not happening as fast as I had hoped it would, and I'm still not sold on the notion that there's really enough demand to fill all these new living spaces, but it is undeniably pretty exciting. If, as some firmly believe, downtown Reno is going to become home to thousands of new residents in the coming months and years, these new residents will find websites like Extreme Makeover to be invaluable resources.

Soccer Update

My kid brother daniel (now calling himself "Soccer Sully"--man, the kid likes giving himself nicknames) has sent me another soccer commentary. Since he has agreed to be my Best Man, I guess he deserves his say. The following is presented without editorial input from me, so I wash my hands of all responsibility for it. We'll get back to talking about interesting things tomorrow.

That’s right, it’s time for “Soccer Sully” to highjack Yukon Sully’s blog once again to quench the reader’s thirst for news of the approaching World Cup. Anticipation is warming to a fever pitch as the calendar draws ever closer to the summer months and the June, 6 opening match between host Nation Germany and CONCACAF representative Costa Rica. The United States National team continues it’s preparation with a series of friendly matches that will be played on home soil. In the first game in this series the U.S. will face the Regge Boyz of Jamaica tonight in Cary, North Carolina. Fans can catch the game live on ESPN2 at 7pm eastern.

Jamaica did not fare as well against their CONCACAF competition as the U.S. did during world cup qualifying and as a result, they will not be joining the U.S. in Germany this summer. However, they must continue to re-group and build for the future on the backs of several young players the U.S. will be facing tonight. On the other hand, the U.S. has two very important goals in mind for tonight’s match: finalizing the world cup roster, and building team chemistry on the field. U.S. Head Coach Bruce Area has searched long and hard for the right combination of players with the talent, skill, and fitness to compete at the highest level in this most anticipated event.

Among the players that we will see tonight fighting for roster spots are fan favorite John O’Brien, Josh Wolff, and even Tony Meola, who will be earning his first cap since 2002. Though O’Brien and Wolff both have considerable qualifying and World Cup experience with the national team, neither has been able to consistently claim a place in the starting line-up. The injury bug has bitten the man they call “J.O.B.” all too often since his brilliant performance in midfield at the World Cup in South Korea and Japan. If healthy and fully fit, his creativity and skill with the ball at his feet will be quite an asset to the boys in red, white and blue. As for Wolff, this may be his last chance to show Area that he is capable of scoring goals at the national team level. Everyone knows that Wolf is athletic and tireless work horse up front, but he has lacked the deadly final touch he will need to compete with the world-class defenders he would butt heads with this summer in Germany.

Meola’s appearance tonight is a milestone and will likely be his final match in a U.S. jersey barring any unforeseen string of injuries to the top domestic goal-keepers. Most American soccer fans remember the 37-year-old ‘keeper as a key figure in the domestic soccer renaissance that began when the United States hosted the World Cup in 1994. Soon Meola will retire, but fans will always remember solid performances he gave us along with Tab Ramos, Marcello Balboa, John Harkes, and the man with the goatee: Alexi Lalas. Meola, along with the others mentioned above, certainly deserves his moment in the sun.

Only four games remain before this summer’s trip to Germany. Who will step-up their game and claim their place on the World Cup roster? Bruce Area just might get an answer to that question tonight.

Nuke 'Em For Jesus

I try to tell myself that they can't really be seriously considering bombing Iran with nuclear weapons. The very thought is beyond crazy. The people running the show in Washington may be inept, they may be blissfully stupid, but they're not monsters. Right? I mean, they know that such a thing would not only be immoral, but would inspire new generations of terrorists for decades to come, right? Right?

The Bushies say they're trying to resolve things with Iran dipolmatically, and I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but of course that whole 'we don't really want war' stuff is the same hokum they kept mouthing about Iraq. Seymore Hersh says in The New Yorker that his sources tell him that Bush has a Messianic complex about his perceived 'duty' to do "what no Democrat or Republican, if elected in the future, would have the courage to do", i.e. take any steps necessary, including a nuclear strike, to prevent Iran from one day attaining nuclear weapons itself. Hersh says that one former defense official told him that military planning was premised on the notion that a "sustained bombing campaign in Iran will humiliate the religious leadership and lead the public to rise up and overthrow the government." God, where have I heard that before?

There are a number of theories as to what this administration is actually up to. It has been posited that this public discussion of a nuclear option against Iran is simply posturing, an attempt by Bush to get the Iranians (or perhaps our European allies, who have been dragging their feet to some extent on the issue of sanctions) thinking that he just might be crazy enough to do it, so we'd better give him whatever he wants. Others argue that this floating of the possibility of nuclear weapons is actually the set-up for a conventional strike, which will look tame and rational, perhaps even benevolent, by comparison. Either one of these theories might be true, but frankly such subtle, Machiavellian manipulation is not this crew's usual style, even if they are dumb enough to believe it might work.

I hate to say it--I really really do hate to say it--but in this case I think the correct answer is the most obvious one; I think the Executive branch of the U.S. Government wants to seriously consider the use of nuclear weapons against a foreign nation in order to prevent that nation from perhaps being a threat to us (or to Israel) ten years down the road. This wouldn't be Iraq-style premptive war, going in after weapons that you have convinced yourself already exist; this would be some kind of bizarro double-plus pre-emptive war, invading a foreign nation and using radiological weapons to deal with a threat that might exist in years to come. Even though a rational mind could never justify such an action, the more I see from this administration, the more I fear that they really are capable contemplating and even doing such a thing.

You want to know what thought keeps me up at night more than any other? In the darkest corners of my mind, my greatest fear is that the men now running this country are not, as some of my friends believe, just a bunch of charlatans using public piety and religious wedge issues to protect corporate interests and shift the tax burden away from the rich. No, my fear is that they actually believe all the apocalyptic insanity that is accepted as self-evident truth out among certain segments of their Evangelical base. You know, that whole "Armageddon brings us that much closer to Jesus' return" thing. The fact is, a lot of the fundamentalists who have risen to power in this nation (somehow still clinging to the notion that they are persecuted) actually see the End Of The World not as a bad thing to be avoided, but as a good thing, to some extent the only good thing, which is to be brought about ASAP. And that means war. There are a lot of Evangelicals out there in this country who see continuing and increased bloodshed in the Middle East as necessary to bringing about the Second Coming, something they very much want to see happen. They form the hardest of the hard-core of the President's base, which could mean that we are all along for the apocalyptic ride whether we believe their fantasies or not. If a few Persians get nuked on the road to the Kingdom of Heaven, it's just God working in mysterious ways.

Am I spouting paranoid ravings? Maybe. Hopefully. But the evil things that have been done to human beings down though the ages because someone or some group thought they were doing God's work is too long to list here. I hope all this talk about the potential use of nuclear weapons is all just "wild speculation", as the President says. If it's not, we're in worse trouble than I thought.

Sweep

The season may be barely a week old, but a sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals is worth celebrating no matter what the time of year. Last night Cubs' Catcher Michael Barrett hit a grand slam off Cards' closer Jason Isringhausen in the 8th to put the Cubs ahead on the way to an eventual 8-4 win, despite that fact that a tornado tossed a tree into his parent's living room in suburban Atlanta on Friday (no one was hurt). I've watched the replay of that grand slam on the Cubs' website about five or six times now. Thank God for the Internets.

It's great to have baseball back again, and better yet baseball in Springtime, when hope still lives. Soon we will enter the dog days of Summer, and in all likelihood the Cubs' questionable offense and oft-injured pitching staff will not be able to keep pace as we lurch toward the harsh reality of Autumn. But for now it is April, the Cardinals are leaving Wrigley with three straight losses, and all is right with the world.

Life Lessons

Let me share a little bit of wisdom that I gained last night. If you're cooking with jalapeno peppers, take your contact lenses out first. If you try to take your contacts out of your eyes after slicing and dicing jalapenos, you will discover that there's a reason pepper spray is made from peppers.

Still Pretending To Care About Your Input

It's been so long since I came up with a new poll question, but Spring has returned to Reno and I guess it's inspired me. Check toward the bottom of the blog gutter on the left and cast your vote for your favorite sign that Spring is here.

Mourning At Mammoth

I'm just not sure what to say about what happened at Mammoth Mountain yesterday. Just a day or so after I wrote a post reveling in the fact that record snowfall will keep the Sierra ski hill open until July 4, three members of the ski patrol died there when the snow gave way around a volcanic vent. They were attempting to place a warning fence around the area, which was known to be dangerous. Two died when they fell into the vent, and a third was also killed attempting to rescue his two companions.

I almost feel foolish now for posting that I was so deliriously happy to hear about all the snow down at Mammoth and other Sierra ski resorts this year. Much as I love the sport of snowboarding, it has to be acknowledged what a dangerous and potentially deadly activity skiing and snowboarding can be. This has been a particularly bad season at Mammoth--those who died on Thursday are actually the seventh, eighth and ninth persons to loose their lives at Mammoth this winter. This is an unusually high number, but as one who worked in the ski industry for a short while I can tell you that most major ski hills can reasonably expect at least one or two deaths a year, along with countless injuries.

Ski Patrollers are the heroes of the mountain. These guys and girls are not ski bums--they are well trained experts. Not only must they be great skiers or boarders, but they are also capable administering emergency care under all sorts of hazardous conditions. And most of them do it for very little pay, or even as volunteers. Most of them simply love the mountains, and see being a Patroller as a way to give back while helping to facilitate a sport that they love.

Next time I see a Ski Patroller on the mountain, I hope I remember to thank them for what they do.

I'm Guessing There Will Be Snakes, Perhaps On Some Sort Of Plane

In the age of the Internets, it never ceases to fascinate me just what will turn out to be a genuine phenomenon. Take the Grade B, sure-to-be-cult-classic movie Snakes On A Plane. For all of you who aren't twelve-year-old boys or living in your parent's basements, yes, this is a real movie. It even stars Mace Windu himself, Samuel L. Jackson.

Based entirely on the so-bad-it's-good title and some really campy clips that have been circulating around the web, this movie is already a fan-boy favorite. And it doesn't even arrive in theaters for months! One guy actually has an entire blog devoted to the movie. It's called, naturally, "Snakes On A Blog." But if you think that's bad, check out all the fan-created trailers and other video clips inspired by the movie that no one has seen yet! Obviously a lot of my fellow geeky white guys have way too much free time on their hands.

So what explains the appeal? Well obviously: Snakes. On A Plane. What else does a person need to know, except perhaps whether or not Western Civilization is even worth saving at this point?

Reno's Growing Pains

One of my greatest complaints about Reno is that the city has no idea how to grow. This is not to say that Reno isn't getting bigger, because it is, by leaps and bounds. But as far as how to grow in a way that's smart and livable, we're completely lost. It's something of a cliche, but this isn't a small town anymore, and we need to stop thinking like a small town where growth issues are concerned.

Although sprawl issues are what usually comes to mind when you mention growth problems, we downtown residents don't exactly have things easy either. If you've driven down Sierra Street between 4th and the Truckee river, you know what I mean. Here's a list just off the top of my head of construction projects that are currently underway as you drive south toward the Truckee: repaving and reconstruction around the train trench reduces three-lane Sierra to one lane and has 3rd street completely closed in both directions. Between 3rd and 2nd the old Golden Phoenix (formerly the old Flamingo) is being ripped apart to build The Montage, closing one lane of Sierra as well as 2nd Street to the west. Between 2nd and 1st the old Riverboat's ground floor is being converted into a Long's Drug and on the opposite side of the road the new Silver Peak is expanding, as is the West 2nd Street Bar. Finally, just across 1st where The Palladio is being built, Sierra Street is just shut down completely, along with an occasional chunk of First between Sierra and Virginia. Construction is essentially completed on the new courthouse, but with Sierra shut down south of 1st Street, that area isn't accessible by vehicle anyway.

These multiple construction projects are shutting down lanes and bottlenecking traffic into an unwieldy, dangerous mess, creating a ripple effect of delay and gridlock all over downtown even during non-peak hours. Add in the fact that large parts of West Street one block west of Sierra, Keystone Avenue and others are completely shut down as well, and you have one ungodly mess.

Maybe I'm just venting here. Downtown Reno is my neighborhood, and I sort of resent the fact that right now the whole place feels clogged, dangerous and hostile to pedestrians. All of the projects underway are good ideas (yes, even the Train Trench) and will probably benefit the community in the long run. But I have to wonder if this is really the best way to go about accomplishing growth. Why are all these projects undertaken all at once, and why do they all seem to take so long? Particularly with regard to road construction projects--like those on 3rd Street, West Street and Keystone--wouldn't it make more sense to focus resources on shutting down one small area, getting the job done and then quickly moving on to the next area? There may very well be good reasons as to why things are proceeding the way they are, but certainly no one's been able to provide them to me yet. All I know is that when I get off work, it's actually much faster to walk the three blocks home than to drive the same distance, but it also feels like taking your life in your hands.

Off She Goes

I want to share something pretty amazing with you all.

Once in a while I mention my little sister Katy, who's currently working on making it big as an actress down in L.A. I doubt I've ever had occasion to mention it before, but Katy was born with legs that end at her knees. This condition doesn't cause her any pain or discomfort, she simply has no lower legs. In a strange way it feels odd to talk about, not because Katy or anyone else is embarrassed by her situation but because no one in my family feels there's anything unusual about her. It's simply the way she is. And certainly, she's never let the fact that she has no lower legs keep her from doing or being anything she wants. She graduated from Webster University in St. Louis as a Drama major a few years back, and spent time working at the prestigious Goodman Theater in Chicago before moving out to L.A. a couple of years ago to see what she could make of things.

If you just saw her walking down the street, you'd never know that there was anything unusual about her aside from the fact that she is a tall, somewhat striking redhead. This is because she walks on prosthetic legs that look very realistic. Unfortunately they are somewhat cumbersome and she cannot move faster than a walking pace. Until now, that is.

My father recently sent me the picture below. It's a still from a video of Katy trying out a new pair of running legs. You can't tell very well from the picture, but these new legs are bent forward in a sort of "L" shape and are quite springy, allowing her to run at a very considerable clip. As far as I know the picture below is the first time she has ever been able to run at a full pace on prosthetics. Quite wonderful, really.

She's currently training for her first 5K run. She's an amazing young woman.

I tell you all this not just because I'm proud of her beyond words (which I am, of course), but also because I think I'm going to have even bigger news relating to Katy in the near future, and I don't want it to come out of left field. I can't say anything now, and I may not be able to for a while, but I feel confident in telling you that wonderful things will be happening for her in the future. Please stay tuned.

Ride Into The Summer

How great a snow year was this in the Sierra? Mammoth Mountain announced yesterday that they'll be open until July 4. Since October, Mammoth has received a record 52' of snow. Now for those of you back east, the little ' mark after the 52 doesn't mean inches, it means FEET. If you don't care to do the math that's 632 inches of snow, and probably more falling this weekend. This means that even when summer comes and the valleys below are warm and green, we'll still be snowboarding in the high country. How great is that?

Oh, and the heavy snowpack also means that our five-year drought is officially over. I guess that's good too.

Discuss

Two unrelated questions for general discussion:

1. Is Katie Couric the right person to be the first female solo news anchor for a major network? My choice would someone like Christiane Amanpour, but I doubt she would ever leave the field, plus I'm pretty sure she's some kind of foreigner. And would we even be disussing this if the job had gone to, say, Anderson Cooper? As for Couric, I wonder if a lack of gravitas will make it difficult for people to take her seriously, but I'd be willing to give her a chance.

2. How long should this guy be hung up by the gonads? And didn't he see that Dateline NBC special?

Call Him "Ishmael"

Props to my kid brother daniel (or "best man sully", as he's been calling himself lately) for recommending Daniel Quinn's Ishmael to me a few days back. I'm sort of surprised that I'd never heard of this book, as it's been around well over a decade and apparently has a considerable cult following. It's not as great a book as the last one he recommended to me, Life of Pi, but still worth a read. I had thought to write him personally to discuss the book, but hopefully reviewing it out here on the internets will allow anyone else who's read it to join the discussion.

My reaction to this book is similar to my reaction to The Da Vinci Code. Not to say that the two books have a lot in common thematically--one is the story of a disillusioned writer engaging in a Socratic dialogue about human nature, sociology and environmental destruction with a telepathic gorilla, and the other is, you know, The Da Vinci Code--but both books have the same structural problem as novels. Both contain preposterous plots populated by characters that could charitably be described as one-dimensional (the gorilla in Ishmael is a possible exception). But in a sense these criticisms are immaterial, since plot and characters exist in these books only as mediums to allow for the "discovery" of hidden histories and the discussion of world views and value systems that would be called subversive by some, liberating by others. Whether Quinn's historical or sociological facts--or The Da Vinci Code's, for that matter--are valid I cannot say for certain. What I can say is that his ideas are intriguing and merit discussion.

The story in Ishmael mostly concerns a series of dialogues between an unnamed narrator and the eponymous Ishmael, a telepathic gorilla who lectures students (whom he acquires through personal ads) on the cultural, ecological and spiritual values of modern civilizations versus those of societies we would generally refer to as "primitive", and the effects of these values on the natural world and on us as human beings. Ishmael has a lot of interesting things to say about the immense power of cultural narratives, the nature of the unspoken values that frame our ideas about how humanity should live and relate to the larger world, and the roots of the spiritual alienation so prevalent in the modern world.

To over-simplify, Quinn divides human cultures into "takers" (like us), who's mythology posits that the world was created so that mankind could conquer and exploit it along with everything that lives on it to suit our own short-sited agenda, and "leavers", who exist peacefully and harmoniously within the world rather than trying to rule over it with an iron fist. While I can't say that I buy into every premise espoused by Quinn and his inexplicably super-intelligent gorilla, at heart he has a valid point to make: most of modern man's ecologically and culturally destructive tendencies stem from a fundamental lack of respect and reverence for the living world around us and the diverse ecosystems that maintain it. It is a great mistake to believe that we are somehow "special" in that we exist outside and above the world that nurtured us as a species for millions of years, and that we have a divine right to plunder and/or exterminate whatever serves our short-term needs.

My only problem with this book is more artistic than intellectual; I am forced to wonder why it exists in the form of a novel at all. Clearly Quinn has a lot of interesting ideas that he wants to discuss, but why the gimmick of the talking gorilla? Why not simply present his compelling ideas for discussion? Is the idea to make the issues more accessible? That may be a laudable goal, but if that's the aim the book doesn't pull it off very well, at least for me. So far as the story goes, very little takes place aside from the narrator repeatedly coming to visit Ishmael, first in an office building and toward the end of the book at a carnival side-show. Although we learn some of Ishmael's history (but not how he became intelligent, telepathic or so darn well-read), we never get to know or care about the characters in any significant way. But as I say this is an artistic criticism, not an intellectual one. Clearly Quinn isn't really that interested in telling a compelling story about a man and a gorilla. He's really interested in telling the much more compelling story of two competing ways of looking at the world and the potentially disastrous effects that one of these world views has for humanity and the world itself.

Heart Of The Whiny Season

The Great Basin, unlike some deserts, doesn't officially have a rainy season. What little precipitation we get here generally falls in the form of snow during winter months. But what we do have is a whiny season, and we're in the heart of it now.

If you live in Northern Nevada you hear it everywhere these days, like the dull, high-pitched drone of a bee colony. "How come it's not Spring yet?" "Why is it still cloudy?" "When will the gray skies go away?" "How can it still be snowing on the pass?" "How can the high today only be 58?"

Look, I love a nice, sunny day as much as anyone, but all of you need to ramp it down just a bit (and you know who you are). Reno's weather is rarely predictable, but there's nothing unusual about rain and cool weather in early April. As I've said a hundred times, this is a reality of living in a mountain valley at about 4400 feet in elevation. Spring comes when it comes, not when the calendar says it will. Some years, like last year, it doesn't come at all and we go right into Summer. Most years it's warm and dry by mid-May, but there's never any guarantee. Most longtime residents can tell you stories about seeing snow fall on the valley floor in July. It's just where we live.

I'm not above occasionally complaining about the weather myself, but this gray, wet weather is perfectly normal for this time of year. I suppose I get a little defensive about this, but it's only because unlike a lot of people I actually like it here, even despite the April showers. If a few rainy weeks at that end of winter really bothers you that much, this probably isn't the best place for you.

Happy "Spring Forward" Day

Once again, sorry for the slow pace of posting. I and my better half have been out scouting wedding locations for the past couple of days. This involved a nice slow trip down and up the Sierra foothills on California's Highway 49, which I'll detail as soon as I have time to download the pictures. We saw a bunch of great wedding locations, one of which Melissa fell instantly in love with.

I'll have a more detailed account of the trip coming up in the days to come, but for now let me take a moment to point out a couple of new Northern Nevada Blogs that are fresh out of the gate. They're both politically oriented and so if that's your thing, you should enjoy them. First try out Blue Lyon, a blog focusing on issues related to Lyon County, the fastest growing county in the nation's fastest growing state. Then take a look at TruckeeRiverLover, a site established to "promote ideas and action that will flow like a mighty river to sweep down corporate capitalism and other forms of oppression", among other things. Both of these sites just started up, but I think they're showing some promise. Check 'em out.